I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
