Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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