I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
