remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
