Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
