NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
