I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
