Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
