i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
