I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
