Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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