1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
