An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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