I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
