distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
