He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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