Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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