I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
