there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
