D3 body, D1 cock
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
