I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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