Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
