she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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