There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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