You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
