I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
