There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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