I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize