just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
