One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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