I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
