The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
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