Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
