Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
