drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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