probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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