I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
