I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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