when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
3 2 1 whiskey
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
