She said her name was "party"
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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