Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
