Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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