I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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