whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
