I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize