I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
