Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
she looked like the before picture.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
