Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
