im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
