i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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