real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
