he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
