Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
