if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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