You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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