I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I didn't notice because vodka
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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