I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
