All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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