Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Randomize
