he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
