i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
