take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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